Worst Flight Ever!!!

So I have been dreading flying with Samantha for as long as I booked this flight to Alaska. Of course this is not b/c I don't love that girl to death but she is a crazy woman...she likes to move and move and move. She is nothing like my Hannah who will happily sit and remain calm...Samantha does not poses this gift. I imagined the worst but there is now way I could of ever imagined how bad it actually went...so here is my story:

We left from SFO last night at 7:45pm. When we got to SFO and checked my bags it was 14lbs overweight so they were going to charge me $50 extra dollars. They then told me it would only be $50 extra to upgrade to first class b/c of my bag overage and there were a lot of spots open so that it was a good probability that there would be an open spot next to me to put Samantha in. So Adam convinced me that it was a good idea this way I could enjoy my 4 1/2 hour flight up in a comfortable 1st class seat. I have never flown first class so I decided I would try it.

As soon as I got through security Samantha started being a wild woman. Trying to crawl out of her stroller including using a garbage can as leverage to pull herself out of her stroller. Finally the flight was ready to board and I got in my fancy first class line and off we went. I even asked at the gate if the seat next to me was open and they said it was. So I dragged that massive car seat onto the plane and started to take it out of its carrying bag when I heard a man say I believe that is my seat....damn!! So back I put the car seat in its bag and another nice man helped me bring it back to the flight attendant to gate check it. I settle into my seat with the horror of knowing I would be holding onto Samantha for 4 1/2 hours but I figured it is already her bed time she should be asleep soon...I was so wrong.

From the moment we sat down it was like I gave Samantha some mega dose of sugar or perhaps even crack! She was jumping up and down on me, leaning this way and that, rolling all over the place trying to escape into the aisle over my leg that was blocking her. She did momentarily sit down on my lap to read a few books but that lasted all of about 15 minutes. One of her best moments of craziness was when she was hanging upside down on my lap and grabbing the magazines in the seat in front of us while upside down and throwing the magazines into the aisle. I really didn't know what to do but laugh...I was so beyond exhausted at this point b/c she continued on like this for 3 hours!! Don't think I didn't try to get her to sit and not move around and encouraged her to lay down but several times she would scream out in protest or start crying and that was just torturous to have people look at me when she did that...none of this would fly at home, so I don't know why she thought it was o.k. here. Luckily the man next to us was incredibly nice and VERY tolerant of my crazy daughter. He was evening trying to play with her and laughed when she threw her plastic cell phone at him...I was not laughing. Oh and I forgot to mention that she of course pooped about 2 hours into the flight and so I had to change her in those mini bathrooms where luckily they had a mini changing table that folded down on top of the toilet but it positioned Samantha right under the kleenex box so of course she spent that time wisely and pulled MANY kleenexes out. She for some reason had diarreha and some leaked out so I had to do a complete wardrobe change in that small bathroom and Samantha decided it was a good idea to "help" me and take some of those kleenexes she was pulling out to try and help me wipe the poop up...I of course freaked out.

Finally, at 11pm our time she decided she was tired enough to crash, which she did on my chest. Now the other "drama" that was going on in first class was diagonally from me where a lady was having an asthma attack and they had her on oxygen but it was not helping b/c the oxygen could not get in since her lungs were constricting. The flight attendants paged for a doctor, nurse or EMT over the load speaker several times before a nurse finally came up to help from coach. Prior to this her husband had been on some special head set to the medics somewhere on the ground and I was praying we wouldn't be landing some other place in an emergency landing. Well since Samantha was asleep I now devoted my full attention to this interesting medical emergency and my seat mate and I gossiped about it and about how much these 2 had been drinking. All of a sudden my legs started to shake uncontrolably and I started feeling really sick. My right eye started twitching and my world started to fade in and out. I was so scared I had no idea what was going on. I looked at my seat mate and told him I don't feel well at all and with a look of horror on his face the last thing I remember him saying was "WE NEED HELP OVER HERE!!" The next thing I remember I am awake and Samantha is on his lap and crying. He tells me I just passed out and was ghost white and he grabbed Samantha just to be safe. The flight attendants had oxygen on me and were asking me if I had a medical condition. Well of course I don't and now the nurse that was helping the lady with the asthma attack was helping me! I was so embarassed! Since they were trying to work on me and Samantha kept crying a really nice lady a few rows ahead of us with a 10 year old boy came and grabbed Samantha and started to walk up and down the plane while holding her. They finally figured out that I was probably dehydrated and exhausted (they had been watching my fun 3 hour ordeal prior with Samantha) and that is why I passed out. They gave me water and kept me on oxygen. I begged them to go back to helping they lady with the more serious asthma attack and not the dumbass who forgot to drink enough that day. I realized now looking back that I had been busy that day and had not drank much and then I know I didn't drink much before or during the flight for fear of how I was going to go to the bathroom with Samantha sleeping on me (if only that were the case). The nice lady brought Samantha back to me after I recovered and then of course Samantha was awake again b/c why should she go to sleep. So on that whole 4 1/2 hour flight she only slept 20 minutes. When we landed and the paramedics came for asthma lady they flight attendents asked me if I wanted to be checked out too but I declined it b/c I did feel better and I just wanted to get the hell off that flight.

When we got to my brother's house Samantha again was a crazy woman and decided that it was not time to sleep so she did not get to sleep until 1 am Alaska time, 2 am our time. Then she woke up at 5:30 am and wanted to get up....crazy! I managed to get her back to sleep until 8am but not before waking up once more to cry a lot a protest about the fact that I wanted her to sleep.

So you can see why I dreaded this flight so much, but I could have never imagined it would go this bad. All the people in 1st class were enjoying free alcohol, free digi players to watch movies, a nice chicken salad and I got none of that but a crazy child and passing out.

We are having fun now though and I hope to post pictures tomorrow.